Just Do Your Best

This is all I ask of students who venture into my Yoga classes. Do your best today; not yesterday’s best and not tomorrow’s best. Do your best today with whatever you have. A sentiment that is out of the norm in a society of full calendars, adrenaline fueled must-keep-going ideology, and do a minimum of 110% all day, err day and if you can’t do that you’ve failed.

Something I notice with students is there’s an expectation for the practice be easy, that they – the student – should be able to do everything from the get-go, that they should be progressing quicker, and every class should always result in a feeling of being extremely relaxed. When those things aren’t happening the student feels distraught. The bar is set so high that students do not allow themselves to be human, and the essence of the practice – being mindful and present – is lost.

Downward-Facing Dog is a great example of students becoming frustrated. The very first Down Dog is uncomfortable – a physical and mental struggle. It can be a big upper cut to the ego. However, overtime the more the posture is practiced there is potential for more ease, which feels like a reward every time it happens. This doesn’t happen every time, though. Some days if feels like you’re back in the first Downward-Facing Dog.

This happens with breath work, single-point concentration, meditation, Yamas, Niyamas…basically, every aspect of Yoga. Yet, no one gives themselves credit for continuing on, even when the path isn’t clear and there’s no pot at the end of the rainbow. There’s no “but at least I tried, at least I showed up.”

Yoga is not about showing up in the way you want or the way you think you ought to. Rather Yoga is about coming to the practice as you are in the moment and using whatever tools you have available, wholeheartedly.

Today I shared this quote with my beginner class. Maybe it will resonate with you.

Divers search in the ocean for pearls; they don’t find them every time. They may have to dive twenty or thirty times in the deep sea to get them – and even then they don’t always succeed. Sometimes they may not find certain pearls for years, although the pearls are there. The diver is doing his duty, but he is not getting a reward. Each of us must likewise make repeated efforts in our own life. Always make an effort. But there should be sincerity in it.
– Swami Rama

Feurerstein, Georg. Yoga Gems: A Treasury of Practical and Spiritual Wisdom from Ancient and Modern Masters.

How do you approach your Yoga practice or any activity/task? Do you expect a “pearl” each time? If you don’t find a pearl, how do you feel and what do you do? Can you accept that you did your best and take pleasure in that knowledge?

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Self-Care Series, Episode 4: The Time I was Asked About Diets

Thursdays I teach a small group class at a local St. Louis corporation. Some weeks I share with them interesting things I’ve read about or have been studying. Other weeks I ask if they have questions or want to share something.

Today one of the students said he had been getting into learning about nutrition and asked if there were any diets I follow or recommend.

Such an interesting question.

I understand why he would ask that because yoga is becoming such a part of the fitness industry it is easy to assume yoga teachers would eat certain ways, similar to the idea personal trainers eat certain ways. There’s also the understanding that society is hyper-focused on achieving a particular “body” and the assumption that it can be “done” through diet and exercise. Because of these understandings and assumptions, I wanted to give him an honest answer — an answer that was authentic and truthful for me. However, I didn’t want to come off condescending or righteous because that can happen when topics of food and dieting comes up. I wanted to create a space of sharing and discussion, not confrontation.

Here’s my answer.

I don’t diet. I don’t follow certain food protocols, restrictions, whatever you want to call it. At least not in the traditional sense. When I did do those things, they led to disordered eating. (He was sort of taken aback, which tends to happen when I say I’ve struggled with food.) Now, I try to practice more intuitive eating. I try to listen to the messages and cues my body is sending me as best I can and honor them. I focus more on how the things I consume make me feel, physically, mentally, and emotionally, without restricting and placing rules on myself. The only foods I avoid are the ones in which I have a sensitivity, i.e. soy, avocado, bananas. I try to not judge or punish myself for choices or amounts. Instead of restricting, I am practicing unrestricting. At one time I had a list of foods, while not considered “unhealthy” by most people, that were on a list of foods I couldn’t/wouldn’t/shouldn’t eat because of their nutritional value, or lack thereof. Now I have an incredible list of foods that make me feel functional, whole, satisfied, vibrant because that’s more valuable to me. I am not going to judge anyone who practices a particular restrictive diet, like Paleo, Keto, Veganism, etc., but I also won’t promote those practices.

(This might not be the popular answer, but it’s mine.)

Why did I make this part of the Self-Care Series?

I truly believe if we were not meant to enjoy food and drink then our senses wouldn’t attract us to it. Why do smells make our mouths water? Why do the bright colors of produce draw us in? Why are we able to notice the different textures and flavors? Why entice us if we aren’t supposed to experience pleasure and satisfaction? I also believe food can be medicine for physical, mental, and emotional bodies. I believe making empowered choices regarding what each one of us consumes is a big middle finger to an industry that wants us to be complacent. I believe the way we think about what we consume is an indication of how we treat and care for ourselves.

The diet industry is a big business. It makes approximately $60 billion dollars a year, and the focus is not on helping people. The industry’s focus is on shaming people into to believing their bodies make them unworthy and they’ll find happiness if they change their appearance. The diet industry is focused on making people feel guilty when a diet fails, and plays hero by swooping in with another diet for the person to try so the cycle can continue. The diet industry is about sales.

Start to notice and analyze your relationship with food. Do you feel empowered by your consumption choices? Do you find pleasure and satisfaction with food? Are you able to interpret your body’s messages? Can you read them loud and clear? Or do you ignore your body? Do you feel shamed, guilty, beat down? Do you spend more time thinking about food and planning meals that it takes away from the other things in your life? Is your list of “no-no” foods a hell of a lot longer than your list of “yes, please” foods? If you are feeling more negative toward yourself and food, maybe it’s time to practice something different. Maybe it’s time to say, “Fuck you,” to the diets. Maybe it’s time to become friends with your body because contrary to what the diet industry tells us the body is quite intelligent and knows what it is doing.

Self-Care Series, Episode 3: Mindful Movement

Welcome, everyone! It’s Self-Care Sunday, again, and we’re talking Mindful Movement!

(I apologize for not posting an episode last Sunday, but I needed a self-care day with zero obligations. Now on to the show!)

Something I realized when I was an interior designer, and I see it even now as a yoga teacher, is people are all about instant gratification and results. Whether we want that new custom sofa or the lengthiest hamstrings there ever were, we want it yesterday. What happens, and this is seen a lot with New Year’s Resolutions, we dive all in – gym time for 2 hours 5 days a week, running 5 miles a day, etc. – get burned out, shame ourselves, and do it all over again.

The world we live in is based on results quickly and in large amounts. Deadlines are ridiculously short, sometimes unattainably short, but we’re still expected to meet them. Work loads are overwhelming and sometimes more than even two people can handle. Stress hormones are in a constant state of flux, which causes people to believe it’s normal to be on a constant adrenaline rush, and if we aren’t on this constant adrenaline rush, then there must be a problem…right? Our world is very much focused on quantity and instant results to that point that if our movement isn’t giving us gratification immediately then it’s broken.

What if I told you that the type of movement and how much you move isn’t as important as how you engage with movement? Or that moving your body mindfully is a way to honor and celebrate your body, rather than punish it? That movement can be for pleasure?

How does someone practice mindful movement?

Mindful movement requires the development and practice of dual awareness – proprioception (a sense of the position and movement of one’s body parts) and exteroception (a sense of external stimuli) and/or interoception (a sense of internal stimuli, i.e. hunger, pain, etc.). In yoga, students practice proprioception and interoception by becoming aware of how and where their body is moving and landing on their mat, but also noticing how their body is responding to postures and transitions.

Rather than thinking about movement in a quantitative way, what would happen if movement was thought about with a qualitative approach? In other words, instead of focusing on steps taken, calories burned, pounds lost, think about how the movement makes you feel, are you actually engaging, and do you even like how you are moving.

If you are someone who “punishes” yourself through movement, ask yourself why? If you are someone who focuses on the results, ask yourself why? Then ask yourself, what would it be like to move for the pleasure of moving? How would it feel to move because you enjoy it and because you have a body capable of moving? What do you notice when you focus on the quality of movement, what your body is doing, and how it’s responding?

Have You Grounded Today?

The word “ground” is used a whole freakin’ lot in yoga classes. “Ground through your back heel.” “Ground into the earth.” “Ground within yourself.” Sometimes we, yoga teachers, will switch “ground” for “root.” What the heck does “ground” even mean? Why are we grounding so much in classes?

Ground, typically, means two things; 1) to physically connect with the earth/ground and 2) to draw inward. There’s some kind of connection with the ground in every yoga posture. Generally, teachers give alignment cues from the ground up in an effort  of Creating a study foundation. This not only brings physical stability to the body, but it also creates a feeling of being centered, or stable psychologically.

What got me thinking about this idea of grounding was some reading I did. In Yoga of the Subtle Body, by Tias Little, the entire first chapter is about the foot. Why? Because as bipedal beings our feet are our foundations, the feet are usually what gets us from Point A to Point B, and our feet are what’s used the most to connect us to the floor/earth/ground. As I was reading the description of the anatomy of the foot, stretching the plantar fascia, standing in Tadasana (Mountain Pose), and how if there is a misalignment in the feet the rest of the structure can be thrown off causing pain and discomfort in other parts of the body I started to ask some questions.

Do people feel less grounded mentally and emotionally because there is less physical grounding? What would happen in people were barefoot more often? How would that effect them both, physically and psychologically?

The next time you are in a yoga class, weight lifting, running, walking, sitting at your desk, etc. try to 1) take time to actually ground/root into whatever your feet are touching and 2) notice if by taking the time to physically ground do you feel more mentally grounded.

I think there is so much more that can be discussed on this subject, and maybe one day I’ll revisit this, but I think for today we’ll stop there.

Self-Care Sunday, Episode 2: Bath Time

Bathing dates back to Ancient Greece and has been practiced by many cultures. Bathing can be done for hygiene, therapeutic, and religious purposes. I want to focus on the therapeutic aspect of bathing. While bathing can help with the rehabilitation of an injury, many people bathe for relaxation.

Bathing, aka soaking, is one of my personal favorite methods of self-care. For me it’s a great time to be with myself and my thoughts. It also relieves physical pain. I was diagnosed with my first knee issue shortly before I turned 11, and the conditions piled up for years. I’ve had surgery to partially remove a tumor from my right knee, several bouts of bursitis, Osgood Schlatter Disease, and Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome aka Runner’s Knee. At one point, if I remember correctly it was when I diagnosed with Runner’s Knee, the doctor told me I should NEVER use stairs again. I was about 16 years old. To say the least, I’ve struggled with knee pain for about 18 years. It comes and goes. But I find when the pain is particularly uncomfortable a hot bath helps me find relief.

Isn’t soaking just sitting in a tub of water?

Well, put like that is sounds pretty lame. True, sitting in a tub of water with lights blazing can be pretty underwhelming, so while the tub is filling set the mood. Create some ambiance by dimming the lights or lighting a candle or two. Decide if you’d like music or not, and if so, what type of music. My musical choice varies depending on my mood. I’ll listen to anything from instrumental to Birdy to East Forest to Def Leppard. Listen to whatever is appealing in the moment. Then it’s time to decide if you want to add anything to the tub; Epsom salt, essential oils, bubbles, bath bomb, bath salt (not the synthetic kind that make people zombie-like). This, too, depends on my mood, but I’m partial to tub tea. Tub tea is a mixture that steeps in the water as a person soaks. The different elements of the mixture offer different benefits, some physical and some aromatic. I’m currently using a Chamomile Calendula Tub Tea mixture. The recipe can be found at the bottom of the post.

What are some benefits of bathing?

Soaking in a tub of water can do the following:

  • Increased blood circulation
  • Muscle relaxation
  • General relaxation
  • Improved sleep
  • It’s been reported that soaking can help with Diabetes by reducing levels of glucose and sugar in the blood
  • Steam from the hot water can help reduce mucus and clear nasal passages
  • Relieve pressure on joints

These are just a handful of benefits. If you don’t have a tub, don’t worry. You can still take get some of these benefits from a hot shower. While there are some limitations with showering, you can use salt or sugar scrubs to exfoliate skin. For aromatherapy you can hang a bundle eucalyptus stems from the shower head. The steam from the water will help to release oil from the eucalyptus leaves.

Chamomile Calendula Tub Tea

Attunement

Attuning is defined as making aware, or making harmonious or balanced. As children, everyone is connected so closely to their inner Self. They are attuned to their body and mind. Some say babies are connected to the Divine or Universe or Supreme Consciousness. But as babies get older the connection to this inner knowledge slowly breaks down. Maybe this is because as the child gets older other parts of the brain develop, like the neocortex, or maybe it’s because children are taught by caregivers and society to ignore messages from their body and mind.

Something I notice, as a yoga teacher, is this lack of attunement. As students enter the room I like to check  in with them by asking how they are feeling (mental/emotional check in) and how their body is feeling (physical check in). The answer I get most often when I ask how someone is feeling is “Good.” Sometimes that is how the person is feeling. They’ve had a “good” day, but more often than not it’s just an automatic response. The majority of time when I inquire about their body I get an answer like, “My shoulder/low back hurts, but I’ll deal with it.” Another thing that has been slowly increasing during classes is the checking of smartwatches. People are so driven to be connected with external sources that they will sacrifice another person’s chance to draw inward.

In my classes, I’ve been encouraging students to tune in with themselves multiple times during their practice. There’s the initial tuning in, then a couple-few times after movement, and a final moment at the end of class. I’ve been doing this because our physical, mental, and emotional states are in a constant state of ebb and flow. There’s not one feeling throughout a single day, and if something does go wrong we have the choice to continue focusing on it even if the issue has been resolved or to move on to the next feeling.

In addition to asking students how they feel, after they’ve checked in a few times I’ve asked them to notice if they need to change something to honor what is happening — do they need a break, do they need a sip of water, do they need to reconnect with their breath, etc.

I challenge you to skip checking Facebook a handful of times today and instead check yourself. Ask yourself the general attunement question, “How do I feel right now; pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral?” At each check in notice if your answer changed from the previous check in(s). Maybe the first few times you ask this question you don’t know the answer. That’s okay. Like with most things in life and yoga, it might take time. Be kind and patient as you begin to relearn your body and mind’s language. Once you are able to tune in with how you are feeling maybe you can become aware of what change(s) may or may not need to be made.

Give it a try, and if you want feel free to leave a comment with your observations.

Self-Care Sunday, Episode 1: What is Self-Care

Welcome to Self-Care Sunday!

For quite a while now, I have been wanting to do a series of posts on self-care. However, I have also been hesitant about this idea. My intention with these posts is to provide readers with ideas for different ways to care for themselves. These posts are not meant to say one thing is better than another, and these posts are not meant to be the “be all and end all” of self-care. I think there is a real lack of self-care in people’s lives. For many, they feel self-care is selfish. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. Showing oneself love, kindness, and compassion allows that person to show love, kindness, and compassion to others.

What the heck is self-care?

Self-care is the care for oneself, according to Merriam-Webster, but so many of us still don’t know what that means. Self-care is the practices, activities, and routines that support ones physical, mental, and emotional health. It is what refuels, rather than takes away.

Like I mentioned above, many people have come to think self-care is something selfish. As in, “How dare you take time for yourself to fill your figurative cup of well-being, instead of continuing to give all of your energy to beings, even when you no longer have any energy to give!” Self-care is actually quite the opposite of selfishness. By taking care of ones needs and refueling themselves the person is then able to take better care of others. Our world must be quite ill for self-care to be considered a negative thing.

How does someone practice self-care?

Here are some tips for practicing self-care.

  • Actively pursue it. Schedule it. Write it on the calendar. Block out time for yourself.
  • Have a clear intention that this is for your well-being. If you’re just doing something without a clear intention, then the result won’t be very fulfilling.
  • Figure out what you like and dislike. There’s no point in doing something you don’t like, even if the internet says you should do it. Not everyone has the same needs so test out different things to find what works for you.

With all of that being said, self-care is not always a “pretty” thing like bath bombs and coffee dates. Sometimes it’s looking at failures, re-evaluating, and trying again, if necessary. Sometimes it’s disappointing others by saying no to something. But most of all, self-care isn’t about fixing oneself. The focus is on taking care of oneself, and it is a necessary and essential thing for a balanced life.

My goal is to post a different method of self-care each Sunday creating a series of offerings to readers. These offerings will range from taking a bath to movement to stepping away from something negative. I’m quite excited for this series, and I hope you are, too. If you ever have a suggestion or have a self-care practice you love and would like me to share, please leave a comment and I will do my best to add it to my list.

Tune in next Sunday for episode 2!

Discovering Your Truth

satya

 

Yoga is described as a journey of the self through the self to the self. This is done through physical movement, meditation, sensory deprivation, ethical living, etc. The first step of the journey is through ethical living, and the guidelines for ethical living are called Yamas and Niyamas. Within each guideline is a set of rules or commandments, so to speak.

The focus of this post is truthfulness, which is the Yama known as Satya. “Sat” means “true essence,” “true nature,” “unchangeable.” The practice of Satya is being true and consistent with reality in ones thoughts, speech, and actions. Our thoughts, speech, and actions are interchangeable and tend to be a result of how we feel in a particular moment, a result of primitive thinking, rather than seeing things for how they really are, the unchanging truth. Usually the reaction within a moment comes from a place of fear and conditioning. Thoughts, ways of speaking, and actions are influenced and conditioned by our life experiences such as events, trauma, and relationships.

How does one practice Satya?

First of all, in order to be honest with others we must first be honest with ourselves. It’s typical for people to identify with judgments. For instance, “I am a bad person…,” “I am not in a good mood…,” “I have a bad shoulder so I just deal with it.” These judgment usually arise in the moment and we attach to them. In order to detach from irrational thoughts or feelings offer yourself some space and stillness. Allow yourself to slow down and sit in observation of your thoughts. One way is to observe each thought as it comes up, offer a polite greeting, then watch each thought pass by, as if you are passing someone kindly on a street or watching cars drive by.

However, sometimes a thought or feeling sticks around or continues to come up. In that instance, allow yourself to analyze the thought or feeling. Instead of letting it multiple and grow into this mass of irrational thinking, ask yourself questions. “Why does this thought keep showing up?” “Why does it show during this particular scenario?” “Why do I feel this way?” Begin to dismantle the thought, gently and non-judgmentally taking it apart so you can arrive at the root of the thought or feeling, the truth.

This practice of observing thoughts can be done with regards to other people. Watch your thoughts as they come up. Analyze the recurring thoughts or feelings. Come to the truth about why you feel or think that way toward that person or group of people.

As you start move away from fear based thinking and feeling you can start to live and speak your truth. Allowing your entire self to be seen by everyone and voicing your needs. Speaking the truth can be just as difficult as, if not more difficult than, observing thoughts and feelings. When one is speaking it is easy to state an opinion or judgment. “I don’t like the way you fill the dishwasher.” “I can’t believe you are wearing that dress. It’s so ugly.”

Satya is the second Yama. It follows the first, and most important, Yama, which is Ahimsa (non-violence). In speaking our truth we must also practice Ahimsa. This means we must try to speak in a way that will not hurt ourselves or others. This requires us, again, to slow down and observe what is happening. A way to practice non-violent speech is Non-Violent Communication. Non-Violent Communication (NVC) is observing thoughts and feelings, creating a dialogue, and expressing needs in a way that contains compassion and truth. For instance, you come home and your partner forgot she had a cup of milk on the side table and one of the dogs had gotten on the furniture to get the cup, which resulted in milk spilled on the rug. A lot of thoughts are probably popping into your head, “I can’t believe she left a cup out again! Our dog is in so much trouble! This is ridiculous! I just got home and I have to deal with this crap!” Instead of immediately reacting and coming to your partner with all of these thoughts in your head, give yourself some time to slow down, breathe, and start to observe. Start the conversation by making a non-judgmental observation, “There is milk on the floor.” Then consider and state your feelings, “I am frustrated.” Followed by stating your needs, “I need to come home from work to an orderly space so I can relax.” Then make a request, “Would you be more conscious of where you leave things?”

This type of dialogue will result in less arguments, people will be more willing to accommodate your requests when you approach them in a calmer manner, and you will have spoken your actual truth. This can be used in all kinds of scenarios with all kinds of people. I try to use NVC when speaking to my classes. I recently had two very full classes. One being 36 out of 41 spots filled and 34 out of 35 spots for the other. I become very nervous and very concerned with student safety in classes that full because students only have about a block width between them and each person around them. I handle this by stating the obvious fact, “Wow! There are a lot of people here today!” Then I express something like, “I am so excited to have all of you! I’m also a little concerned about safety.” Followed by my needs and request, which is typically, “I need to create a safe space for each student, and because there are so many of you I need your help with that. My first request is you become and remain conscious of those around you. I’ve literally been kicked in the face while taking a class. It’s not fun to have someone’s foot touch your face. [pause for laughter] My second request is you refrain from doing particularly complex postures, like handstand. Save those for another time, please.” It is incredibly rare for a student to not honor these requests.

Keep in mind observing thoughts and feelings is a difficult task. People are used to having a constant monologue of self-talk in their heads. People are used to reacting from an emotional place. Know there may be times that you are trip up and cause yourself or someone else pain. It happens. In those instances, offer a heartfelt apology, then keep going. This is one of the reasons why Yoga is a practice.

How to Balance & Manage Your Energy

brahmacharya

Balance is something everyone strives for. In Yoga the concept of energy management or balancing energy is the Yama known as Brahmacharya. Older texts will describe this as continence or celibacy and relate it to sexual energy. Modern texts speak to this concept as the right use of energy or the prioritization of energy. That’s what this post will be speaking to because there are so many things that effect energy.

Humans are no longer tied to the rise and fall of the sun. We can make our spaces as bright or as dark as we want whenever we want. We can wake up and go to sleep at any time. Our work days are no longer determined by how much light is available. The options for activity are endless.

If you are noticing your energy feels off, but not sure why, and looking to create balance in your life, consider the following.

Contemplate how you actually use and direct your energy.

Sit down and actually think about where you are spending your energy. Think on the macro scale so things like work, commuting, relationships, etc. Make a pie chart if you need a visual. Notice the different things you are directing your energy toward. Which of them are external desires, things that are awesome at the time, but are ultimately fleeing? Which of them are internal desires, things that help cultivate peace and happiness within you? How can you redirect some of your energy from external desires to internal desires?

Listen to your body and mind.

Everyone has intuition, but a major problem is we’ve been taught to ignore it. The body will tell you many things if you’ll only listen. Some days the body might request intense movement like a power yoga class or 5 mile run. Other days it might be needing something gentler like yin or restorative yoga or a walk through the park. Think about this in terms of food as well. Have you ever ignored your body’s messages that is was full and kept eating? Or what about messages that it’s hungry? Do you ever eat anything that in the moment is amazing, but later it feels like a brick in your stomach, your abdomen is painfully bloated, and the mind is foggy? Do you ever consume food that is delicious in the moment and continues to not only fuel your body, but also makes the body and mind feel healthy?

Review your calendar.

Sometimes a full calendar is not the best thing. Become aware of daily activities that are draining your energy. Ask yourself if you can change or cancel some of these things, and in place schedule time for yourself. Do you need to binge Netflix late into each night? What if you watched one less episode and got more sleep? It’s okay to give yourself a moment or two to slow down, catch your breath, rest, and find some peace.

How do you know when your energy is being depleted? How does your body feel? What about your mind? In what ways do you manage your energy?

“A pose isn’t supposed to look like anything.”

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At least once a week, a student will either say to me before class something about being very sore or having an injury and following that statement with something like, “So please don’t be upset if I don’t do some things or change things,” or a student will come up to me after class and apologize for not doing everything I offered or for modifying postures. I usually follow these statements by asking them why should I be mad about them listening to their body. As a yoga teacher, I love when students know their limits and respect their bodies, whatever that looks like in that moment.

There’s this idea about students having to mimic a teacher exactly or doing every single posture given, and I say (warning adult language) a big, “Fuck that,” to this concept. As a child I developed knee issues shortly before I turned 11 years old. It started with an osteochondroma, a benign tumor on the growth plate of my right knee, then several boughts of bursitis, Osgood-Schlatter Disease, and Runner’s Knee. I also suffered a break of the talus bone in my right ankle at the end of my freshman year in high school. I was lucky to have a dance teacher who taught me to listen to my body, and at times who made me take breaks or would change choreography because I was stubborn and would ignore what my body’s demands to take it easier. She taught me, maybe unknowingly, that poses and movements can be tailored to suit the body performing said poses and movements. For me, I believe there is not a single perfect pose that everyone needs to strive toward. Instead, I believe each individual body has a perfect pose for each individual moment.

One day I had experienced a student talking poorly of their practice. I had commented how I love to watch her practice, and she immediately replied trying to be tongue in cheek with, “Because it’s so lazy?” I was taken aback. No, her practice was wonderful because she listened. She modified. She moved with ease. She took breaks when she needed them. A day or two after that encounter I found myself reading How Yoga Works by Michael Roach, when I came across a paragraph that helped affirm my belief.

It was during an exchange between Friday, a female traveler who was jailed and acting as the local yoga teacher, and the small son of the jail’s sergeant, Ajit. Friday wants Ajit to teach the other boys that day. Ajit agrees saying he’d teach the boys giving and taking, breathing, etc., then get Friday when it’s time for the poses. Friday makes it clear she wants Ajit to teach everything, including the poses. Ajit quickly says he can’t because he has a crippled leg and can’t do the poses perfectly himself. Friday is quick to reprimand him, gently.

“I took his scarred cheek in my palm, and he let me, innocently — did he know it already looked better? ‘There’s something you have to understand, Ajit. It’s very simple and very true. A pose isn’t supposed to look like anythingNobody can do a pose so it looks perfect. A pose is perfect only when you are doing the very best you can –gazing steadily, breathing sweetly, and thinking of how it will help someone else. And I watch you every day, doing lots of these perfect poses. And that’s the kind of poses I want our wonderful boys to learn.'”(How Yoga Works)

If you are planning on apologizing to me or any other instructor, then stop and ask yourself the following questions first. Did you breathe consciously, sweetly, actively? Did you focus and use your drishti? Did you think of how this might help someone else? Did you do your best in that moment? If so, then you have nothing to apologize for. If not, you still don’t need to apologize to me. Take a breath, release judgement, and move on.